Riverside?

It is three in the morning. Surprise, surprise. I’ve been up completing my application for camp, filling out tax refunds, and writing a check for my credit card. The hardest thing has been the application. A couple of weeks ago a friend told me I should work maintenance with him and shortly after another to work at the camp store with him. For the past couple weeks I have wrestled with the idea of going back to camp after a couple of years away. This has been a very hard decision.

I found out a little over a month ago that I am twelve credits shy of graduating in May (even though I’m done with my major and liberal arts requirements). So, I need enough credits for a semester. My original plan was to take classes this summer so that I could move next fall to wherever my girlfriend is going to grad school. She is going out-of-state and is already two hours away from me now. I really don’t like it. To work at camp would mean I finish my final semester in the fall and spend four months at least six hours away. At least.

I miss camp. I miss the relationships and the communities that are formed. I miss the people; I even miss the kids. I miss the bubble that is so much freer from the world and I can truly focus on God. I would love to go back.

It is three in the morning and my application is finished. I am not sending it. I am not filling out the envelope, I am not putting the application in, and I am not sending it. I am not being called back to camp, not by God anyway. For two weeks I have been praying about it. For two weeks my heart flips back and forth. As I finished my application and began to truly feel and think about everything, I know camp is not where I need to be.

My heart could definitely benefit from a summer at camp. I do not think God is calling me away from camp. I just do not feel that is where I should be. I will take classes either at home or stay in Cedar Falls. I will visit camp. Maybe, I will find a week to volunteer. But I will not work at camp. I am glad I filled out the application, though.